I’ve never planned on having a child this young before. When I found out my girl was pregnant, I decided to not pussy out and be a man. I took responsibility and gave my support. As weeks and weeks went by, we went through many hardships. Drama between friends, family, and such arose due to us trying to keep it temporarily on the DL.
Abortion kept running through our minds but we just couldn’t due it. It was a decision that I know if I made, I would regret it for the rest of my life. There were many times when I just felt like breaking down and giving up. But my love for my girl was too strong and I kept my chin up, despite the loss of many friends, sleep, and freedom.
As the last week of pregnancy came, we found out our baby needed a C-section since her face was facing up, making natural labor a risky procedure. We were willing to do anything just to get her out safely. With only a few hours of sleep, I put on my surgical clothes and headed to the operating room. I sat down next to my love and waited. 15 minutes later, the nurse next to me goes, “Hey daddy, look over there she’s out.”
I walked around the table and I saw the most beautiful baby girl in the world. After cleaning her up, they burrito wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to me. I sat down next to her mother and said. “Look baby, its our beautiful little girl.”
In a weak but happy voice she goes,” Hey there beautiful.” When I saw both my baby and her mothers face in front of me, I started to cry. I realized I had the best of both worlds and I was the luckiest man in the world to have them. I’ve been in the hospital since Tuesday night till now as I’m writing this post in the hospital room, and every single day that goes by has been precious to me. I am so grateful for these two wonders and I have no regrets. I cannot receive any gift greater than the one I have received. The gift of a child. A gift of love.
My boyfriend was eager to meet my Mom, despite my various protests. I pulled into the parking lot of the cemetery where she's buried, expecting him to completely freak out. When we approached her grave, he sat down, said hello, and talked with her for an hour about how lucky he was to have me.
“My beats travel like a vortex, through your spine
to the top of your cerebrum cortex
Make you feel like you bust a nut from raw sex
Enter through your right ventricle clog up your bloodstream
now terminal, like Grand Central Station
Program fat baselines, on Novation
Getting drunk like a fuck, I’m duckin five-year probation”—RZA (Triumph- Wu Tang Clan)